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No matter. I set off for Cheltenham in convoy with some friends in a Range Rover. And possibly because of the fuel they’d use if they spent all morning sitting with half of Ireland in a jam, the route they chose seemed, as far as I could tell, to be made up of roads that were “unsuitable for motorists”.
We went through villages that were lost to a strange mist 400 years ago. We saw signs telling us that “there be witches”. We saw people in smocks. We went through Henry Dent-Brocklehurst’s kitchen. We drove over twigs, logs and a field full of turnips and we forded rivers that don’t even feature on Royal Geographical Society surveys. And the Subaru laughed at it all, clinging onto the Range Rover’s tail like an eager puppy out for the first time with its mum.
Of course, the Range Rover has more ground clearance and a computer program that allows it to cross the Sahara, and do a rainforest before lunch. The Subaru has no such wizardry. Just a straightforward four-wheel-drive system, and that, trust me, could take everything that Gloucestershire placed in its way.
Inside, it has five seats, a dashboard, some leather and a sat nav screen that works well. Except at night, when it stares out of the dash like a second-world-war searchlight. Oh yes, and either I’ve grown or the car’s shrunk since I last tried it out, because I can report that life for the taller driver is cramped.
Outside, it’s just very good looking in a Chelsea Flower Show suit sort of way.
In the car park at Cheltenham, it looked like it belonged. And not only because there must have been a thousand others, all slightly bent, dirty and blue-blooded. This is the car of the aristocrat. The person who uses money to buy time. Not things. It really should come as standard with a black lab in the boot.
And . . . I’m repeating myself. You probably already know that I am a huge fan of the Legacy. And what you want to know is: the new engine. Any good?
No. It’s crap. Normally, diesels are happiest at low revs in a high gear. Not the Legacy. It has the torque of a pencil sharpener, the life and soul of a corpse. You need to be in first until the whole engine has revved itself clean off its mountings, and even then when you go for second it judders and shivers in protest.
I don’t care if it uses only a gallon of fuel every 6m miles; it is just not worth the bother. And to make matters worse it’s not available with an automatic gearbox.
The Legacy with a petrol engine? Yes. Definitely. It has bingo wings, a great suit, the right moustache and a silly hat in the shape of a mad sunroof. If it could talk, you know it would sound like Edward Fox. It’s a brilliant all-rounder. But the diesel? Not in a million years.
Vital statistics
Model Subaru Legacy Outback TD RE
Engine 1998cc, flat four
Power 148bhp @ 3600rpm
Torque 258 lb ft @ 1800rpm
Transmission Five-speed manual
Fuel 47.9mpg (combined cycle)
CO2 156g/km
Acceleration 0-62mph: 8.8sec
Top speed 124mph
Price £23,495
Road tax band D (£145 a year)
On sale Now